Deviation

I’ve been lookin’ ‘round this place
don’t see nothin’ I can’t do without
these faces haven’t changed (much)
(but) growin’ tired of this syllabus
I need some deviation
feelin’ out of touch
I hate to say it’s true, my dear
things are gettin’ kinda worn with you, too
seasons come an’ go – with the same ol’ same ol’
everybody doin’ the same ol’ thing
ain’t no thunder, ain’t no lightning
I need some deviation
something shocking, something frightening

perhaps I’m just a deviant
perhaps I’m just a cad
but the times I spent out on the wire
were the best I ever had
so I’m goin’ back out there
goin’ back in time

so I’m headed for the border
goin’ back out on patrol
a sidearm and a compass
my knapsack an’ my bedroll
I need some deviation
or I’m afraid I’ll go insane
might be goin’ to the city now
where the hustle never sleeps
crowds an’ bodies everywhere – flash an’ glare
opportunity an’ dark despair
hipsters an’ freaks an’ music in the streets
I need some deviation
get myself back in the game

I don’t care enough ‘bout nothin’
no passions no animus, you see
got no bling, I’m soft an’ slow
like complacency
so I’m goin’ back out there
goin’ back in time
I’m takin’ back my soul
I need some deviation
even out my head
international intrigue
with kaleidoscopic currency
and paraphrase fatigue
dialectic stampede
as places come an’ go – nothin’ hoary, it don’t get old
with thunder and lightning
shocking an’ frightening

perhaps I’m just a deviant
perhaps I’m just a cad
but the times I spent out on the wire
were the best I ever had
so I’m goin’ back out there
goin’ back in time

Ananke is Coming

no time for sorrow
no time for grief
no time for pity
they’ll be wrangling in the streets
no time for laughter
no time for games
no time dillydally
everything has changed
Ananke is coming
she’s coming to take you away

lock up all your treasures
Katie bar the door
hide away the children
you won’t see them anymore
burn all your money
and records of your past
take a look around it
just might be your last
Ananke is coming
she’s coming to take you away

Ananke has brothers
a score of cousins too
they’ll descend upon the town
as their convoy rumbles through
hellfire and brimstone
high anxiety
lying, conniving
incivility
Ananke is coming
she’s coming to take you away

with sweet sounding promises
and caring concern
never mind the conflict with
everything you’ve learned
light becomes darkness
hate becomes love
despair appears deftly
on the wings of a dove
Ananke is coming
she’s coming to take you away

I had an Angel

When I was a young man
I had me an angel
But I was a young man
With a long way to go
Packed up my caboodle
In search of adventure
Less honest than truthful
Left my angel behind

I married some women
I had me some children
I made me a living
Compressed and confined
But when I was a young man
I had me an angel
But I was a young man
Such a long time ago

I built me a castle
I lined it with silver
Readied for battle
But no one arrived
But when I was a young man
I had me an angel
But I was a young man
Things that I didn’t know

So now I’m an old man
And I’m all alone now
No longer a young man
Left my angel behind
But when I was a young man
I had me an angel
I was a young man
Such a long time ago

An Elegy for the Ampersand

No boarded play, however grand
contains within those scrambled hands
behold, the lowly ampersand

No seriously rightful due
akin, alas, to double-u
are Bob & Hugh or me & you

The case for “and per se and” lies
within the work of ancient scribes,
is utterance; and there it dies

The double-u however, though,
is used in terms like woo and woe
and other witless words we know

Some hundred years ago was dissed
deposed from alphabet’s long list
the ampersand does not exist

Pelicans

I had never seen a pelican formation

I thought them solitary, each to each

but there they were – eleven birds

slowly wafting down the beach

A leisurely diagonal which angled back

against the shoreline, biding time

one would flap a single stroke

then each one, too, in successive line

and drift along to be wherever

they were going, gently flowing

seemingly so unaware of seashell seekers

splashing swimmers or what was going on below

A team of sorts with no concern

of all the goings on and such

attentive toward their own accord

but as toward us, well, not so much

It Happens Every Year

The misty drizzle
     darkened sky
with three days long
     of twilight dark
this misty drizzle
     damp and cold
December’s
     dismal weather
          and
then suddenly
     some flurries seem
to swirl and spin
     and seemingly on cue
these clouds have
     started snowing
sending fluffy white
     precipitation hither
          and
before too long
     a blanket forms
this fluffy white
     befalls and now
forever be so frigid
     bringing frost
and frozen misty drizzle
     bringing winter.

 

a travelled road #1

way down the road
it goes way down
an’ you can see for
just about forever
so far down
the road
if you can make it
that far down

up the road a piece
the road goes on
an’ on until you feel
you may be flyin’
up the road a spell
until
you feel the wheels
are flyin’ off

just around the bend
the road goes everywhere
an’ anywhere the road
can go – it does
it goes around
the road
if you can be there
where it goes

and such is life
that goes wherever
goes to where the road
will go
an’ down an’ up an’
all around
enjoy the ride there’s
lots to see and do

A Travelled Road #2

Where does the road end?
I don’t know – Does
knowing where it leads
explain
just how it stops?
And can just anyone roam
on any one road?

To start down one
road mean it must
be followed or
can one road be
diverted from?
Is this a road to nowhere or
to endless possibilities?

And does the road
itself
take turns to
alter its direction?
Are the choices
purely ours or
are they made for each of us?

Is this a road less
travelled, too,
or mainstream,
well maintained,
and high-speed honed
for fast track
travel?

Moving down the road
to where it may
or may not end
is what we do,
to effortless oblivion
or maybe something
special.

Oh, where does it end?

Love’s Prison

It’s a disgraceful place
where we must go
It occupies no space
but in the mind
will steal our days
and weeks and years

All talk of love
is vague
It seldom mentions
what becomes of those
who break the rules
Yet once dispatched
to Love’s Prison
redemption is elusive

Some will stay
forever
locked inside
this fervid jail
never knowing what
or why it hurts
to live in such a place

Some are granted
brief reprieve
repeat offenders mostly
for a moment granted
amnesty but soon
are back to
Love’s Prison

Some are rehabilitated
careful with their
ardor
careful then
to not repeat
the anguish
gone before

And yes, of course,
those fortunate few
have never dared
to step inside
fearful of the misery
afraid that they
might break the rules
and find themselves
inside Love’s Prison

The latter is the
woeful group
however
never having loved
another
never knowing joy
for fear of
love’s dark side

And so be mindful
fill your days
and weeks and years
with true love
mind the rules
and stay away
from Love’s Prison

the pilgrimage

Part I

it was a sunny day
it was a rainy day
chicago to michigan
and up north
at once warmed
by a brilliant sun
then
bombarded by a
sudden
torrential downpour
in and out
of joy and promise
to gloom and melancholy

the week began with
ominous foreboding
mixed with
hope and happiness
and would continue thusly
seeking wellness checks
those who’d gone before
who’d helped to pave
our separate roads
which brought us
here today
they
have accomplished much

and now await
the challenges of
older age
of lonely solitude
interspersed
with love
with genuine
appreciation
and the sun
and the rain
exist
in harmony

Part II

the crowds don’t gather here
save some event of rough
outdoorsmanship
the way is clear
the woods are silent
motorized conveyances
have a separate place to run
and thrill    –    not here
among the ferns that form
the faux floor of this forest
my forest
this place of quiet
this place of my youth

a protected space
and down the banks to
rich and mucky earth of
gordon’s creek
away from fixed
and stable trails
the water pure and cold
it was
and is, my first love
sure, and most at home
among the trees
and me
and no one else

Part III

it was a rougher place
back then
primordial to me
the steps descending down
to iargo springs
had always been there
but now?
a boardwalk maze
will weave and thread
and intertwine the walk
the logs across the mucky parts
are gone
are strewn about

these lengths of tree trunks
now useless and rotting
so, atop the highbanks
a sign marks the time
primeval exploration
ceased
and it became forevermore
post-iargo springs boardwalk days
we can’t go back
the age of guardianship is upon us
the era of pragmatism  –  gone
those were
pre-iargo springs boardwalk days

Part IV

just seven days
of pilgrimage
a sojourn
to our roots
a tarriance
of sorts
we saw our past
we saw our future
who we were
who we are
the lasting
truest view
what we’d become

and on the seventh day
drained
spent
satisfied
time to head home

the media

the critical
self-loathing self
appears,
addresses
all so harshly
all the burns,
abrasions,
acid flavored

bitterness
of petty wanks
and piles it on
‘til no one’s safe
from skeletons
or caustic
acrimonial
exchanges.

intolerance begets
intolerance here
with convenient,
random indifference
there with
laser focused,
sharp-tongued
condemnation.

unity of purpose
has escaped
the conversation.
and perhaps
there is no goal,
no glorious
over-arching
expectation –

only fear
of what
we’ve not become
as hatred
for each other’s
view
replaced our love
for one another.

our critical
self-loathing self
appeared,
became
our personality.

The First Step

The geese are heading north
A long cruel winter passed and now
A time for rebirth
Is upon us
Yet
A fallow mind is waiting
Hanging back
No thoughtful schemes
No sober propagations
Cloud this wistful dormancy,
This blissful paradox; a
Vague, translucent soul
Is tucked away

The geese are heading north
The time has come
For planting
Yet
The dormant field
Cannot control
What grows within
This envaulted ground
So nor can this disparaged
Intellect select it’s crop
Though fertile, rich, it
Cannot choose which path to follow

And so as the geese head north
And farmers ready fields
For planting
Yet
A fallow mind is
Hanging back
Unable to accept
The first step forward
Sitting out another season
Waiting
Fallow

Washington, Illinois, 11/17/13

from the western skies it came
the darkened clouds
the wind, the rain, the hail
tracked by radar
moving swiftly soon
saw emptied seats of soldier field
the moiling heavens cast
the downward spiral spinning,
churning,
ripping

minutes later – quiet rain
the twisted strip of splinters left
cannot tell the tale
cannot record the loss
cannot explain

the irrefutable law of constant change

           seven for seven or
           six out of six

don’t fix what ain’t broken
or mess with what’s workin’
‘cause always improvin’
don’t mean something’s wrong
or stop tinkering, tweaking
try riding along for awhile

           seven for seven or
           six out of six

bang the drum slowly
maybe mix up the playlist
a bit but keep movin’
along – and not pingin’
and pongin’ – try
plannin’ on takin’ a while
(maybe longer)

          so it’s seven for seven
          or six out of six

don’t fix what ain’t broken
don’t break what you’ll need
movin’ on