the disconcertion

i cannot look
to long faced lines
of woe or wit
or solemn etudes
humming moods of
woo or call your name

as the rock
mouthed pessimist
i stand to draw
to me the gloom
of life and speak
so cynically of
happiness and youth

i slash at what
to me is thickwit
feeble lives
portrayed in work
and calling out
for help
that is not wanted

bottled up inside
without the benefit
of seeing what
i look for
shines frustration
like alone
without a book
i seem to miss you