The courting game has gone high tech
(You can) check the rules before you play the game
The train wrecks of yesterday don’t happen quite so often
But a word of caution – your old M.O. will likely be the same

Hughie, he was hittin’ on the waitress
(His sister) Mel, well, she was nodding her okay
I was thinkin’ maybe sparks would fly for breakfast
But not today – our waitress has a wife

Take – me – home – I’m dreamin’ darlin’
Tell me why those pretty eyes are just so bright an’ blue
Take me home, it’s just a date
But I think I’m in love with you

O k cupid and match.com, the list goes on and on
Eharmony, A. Madison, perhaps romantic action
Christians, farmers, gay or straight, it’s easy an it’s safe
Just horny guys and horny gals – no alcohol, no free for all

Sophie, she was sittin’ on a bar stool
Lookin’ like she’d won the beauty prize
Lester, he was actin’ like an ol’ hand tool
An’ you could see it in his eyes – Lester, get a life

Take – me – home – I’m dreamin’ darlin’
Tell me why those deep green eyes just seem to see right through
Take me home, it’s just a date
But I think I’m in love with you

Serious to frivolous, life-long love or merely curious
Investigate, communicate and circulate your bio
Please be cautious with your new found friends
But don’t keep your privates fallow

If you’re lookin’ for a nooner, maybe It’s Just Lunch is it
There’s a bunch o’ funky hook-up sites to visit
Get a date, have some fun, be a lunatic – or be the one
You always wanted to impersonate

Take – me – home – I’m dreamin’ darlin’
Tell me why those blue-grey eyes have such steely hue
Take me home, I know it’s just a date
But I think that I’m in love with you

I wanted her beauty – was longing her passion
her fashion – her irrational intrigue and savvy
as cold as any – assassin you’ve heard of
as wanton as only – a player would know
I asked her to join me – for light conversation
with slight hesitation – she coyly agreed
and everything after – from then and forever
was altered completely – till hell freezes over
a blur wrapped in hunger – and outrageous excess
an eternal detour – from all I’d prepared for
(now) the chains on my soul – keep me tethered immortal
my chortle remorseless – I got what I’d asked for

Enticed by her seductive gifts
and taunted with bewitching kisses
fixated on the ecstasy
my soul descends into a sweet, unending deep abyss
Slow broiled within my own damn rapture
burned by way of rhapsody
ignited by the joy and frenzy
surrendering into the depth, a flame I can’t resist

Every moment we spend – every minute a pleasure
whatever, whenever – wherever, together
the past becomes present – the present the future
the dead become living – the living the dead
now the chains on my soul – keep me tethered immortal
I got what I asked for – was the last thing Satan said

Enticed by her seductive gifts
and taunted with bewitching kisses
fixated on the ecstacy
my soul descends into a sweet, unending deep abyss
Slow broiled within my own damn rapture
burned by way of rhapsody
ignited by the joy and frenzy
surrendering into the depth, a flame I can’t resist

Now the past becomes present – the present the future
the dead become living – the living the dead
the chains on my soul – keep me tethered immortal
I got what I asked for – was the last thing . . . Satan said

Everybody talks
Some are whisp’rin’
Everybody talks
I ain’t list’nin’
Everybody talks
Things get turned around
Everybody talks
Now ev’rything’s upside down

I’ve been walkin’ through these streets
Thinkin’
Everybody talks!
Every day I’m sinkin’
Down, down, down
An’ I don’t wanna go no further down
(So I’m) gone, gone, gone
I’m gonna get out while I can
I’m movin’ on

Yes, I’ve been told you’ve been
Lyin’
You’ve been sellin’
I’ve been buyin’
Now I’m hangin’ out – at the edge of the earth
Hey, Babe, for what it’s worth
I’m gettin’ tired o’ spinnin’ ‘round
I’m gonna get out while I can
I’m movin’ on

Well, the time we had was quite the
Pleasure
But everybody talks!
When we’re together
(So I’m) gone, gone, gone
Ain’t no need to drag it on
Don’t wanna fool around
I’m gonna get out while I can
I’m movin’ on

Everybody talks
Some are whisp’rin’
Everybody talks
I ain’t list’nin’
Everybody talks
Things get turned around
Everybody talks
Everything is upside down

I am the mountains – I am the trees
I am whatever you want     (me to be)
I am the river that flows to the sea
I am the clouds being tossed in the breeze
I am the spirit of three hundred men
I am resurgence, again and again
I am the living – I am the dead
I am the minstrel spinning yarns in your head

Enjoy your time with me
In both gladness and distress
Take a deep, deep breath
I’m your confidence

I am your promise – I’m your guarantee
I am the gift of a skeleton key
I am your answer – your ideal cup o’ tea
Yes, I am whatever you want     (me to be)
I am the stillness all moonlit and starry
I am the tempest with lightning and fury
I am the respite for bones when you’re weary
I am the ocean waves, their splendor, their glory

I am the mountains – I am the trees
I am the river that flows to the sea
I am the clouds being tossed in the breeze
I am whatever you want     (me to be)

You can cry in your beer
you can howl in the wind
you can cast away all your close friends
or sing old sad songs over
and over again
but your broken heart might never mend
find yourself a wishing well
toss in a coin
visit the gypsies outside of town
wander the mountains
alone and forlorn
but your heart will play games of its own

 Disconsolation, that cacophony of misery
     is messing with your mind
     your isolation, unnatural, irrational
     you gotta leave that mess behind

You don’t have to be heroic
you don’t need to be so fine
you don’t even need your ducks in row
there will always be another
somewhere down the road
and, my friend, that’s all you really need to know
there’s a hundred righteous reasons
for feeling like a fool
guilt-ridden, empty cover-ups for shame
you’ve been dumped and disregarded
and maybe treated harshly
it happens – ain’t no one to blame

 Disconsolation, that cacophony of misery
     It’s a tragedy, fabricated by your broken heart
          proclaiming its displeasure
     your isolation, so damnably irrational
     ain’t nothin’ in this world lasts forever

You can cry in your beer
you can howl in the wind
you can cast away all your close friends
or sing old sad songs over
and over again
but your broken heart might never mend

I’ve been depressed, an’ oppressed, repressed an’ obsessed
I’ve regressed, an’ transgressed – I can’t make no progress
I’ve been second-guessed an’ second best
Always put to the test
I feel undressed and over stressed – I think I need some bedrest

I’ve been criticized, an’ analyzed, an’ scrutinized by pernicious eyes
I’ve prophesized, philosophized – I’ve even had to compromise
I’ve been stigmatized, demonized and they tried to cut me down to size
But I’ve realized, to my surprise, that exercise can draw flies
I need to go somewhere and sanitize

Pray for me, good-hearted soul
I’m not too keen on being trolled
Troubles I’ve seen, mistakes’ been made
Gotta save my tail if it’s not too late

Y’see, I’m outdated an’ mismated, kinda jaded and frustrated
I’ve been court mandated then berated, love-hated an’ liberated
I’m fated to be prorated
I guess I just wanna be traded
I’m always under-rated, sedated or inebriated

I’ve been rejected, dejected, dissected an’ I’m disconnected
Triple-sec-ed, blown to heck an’ feelin’ unprotected
I’m constantly corrected, as expected, perhaps just misdirected
I’m prime suspected or else neglected – I’m lookin’ to be resurrected
Please, feel free to interject . . .

Pray for me, good-hearted soul
I’m not too keen on gettin’ trolled
Troubles are many, mistakes aplenty
Savin’ my ass it’s my modus vivendi

I’ve been depressed and oppressed, obsessed an’ all the rest
I’ve been chastized an’ stigmatized
I wanna be traded ‘cause I’m unappreciated
An’ I’m disconnected, I feel neglected

Pray for me, good-hearted soul
I’m not too keen on gettin’ trolled
Troubles I’ve seen, mistakes are many
Savin’ my ass is my modus vivendi

You’d been gone a long weekend when suddenly it clicked
I knew that something wasn’t right
In the back of the closet I came across a broomstick
After you got home on Monday night
I knew that you’d been witchin’ ‘round again

Ain’t nobody safe in this whole damn town
When my girl grabs her shilelagh
And she whacks that bad boy down
Ain’t nobody safe in this whole damn town
When my girl an’ her babes
Go witchin’ ‘round

You told me that you had been reformed
An’ your cover stories seemed so sincere
You said those witchin’ ways had been transformed
But things were not how they appeared
‘Cause you’ve been witchin’ ‘round again

Ain’t nobody safe in this whole damn town
When my girl grabs her shilelagh
And she whacks that bad boy down
There ain’t nobody safe in this whole damn town
When my girl an’ her babes
Go witchin’ ‘round

I’d like to think you’re crazy but I know that isn’t so
There’s wildness in your eyes, but I can tell
Your soul is lined with silver and your heart is made of gold
But if you keep on I’m sure you’re goin’ to hell
‘Cause you’ve been witchin’ ‘round again

Ain’t nobody safe in this whole damn town
When my girl grabs her shilelagh
And she whacks that bad boy down
Ain’t nobody safe in this whole damn town
When my girl an’ her babes
Go witchin’ ‘round

All the people I know try to run my life
Everybody’s giving me their advice
They wanna tell me what I’m doing wrong
They wanna sing for me their ol’ sad songs
An’ I appreciate the thought, but not so fast
Thanks a lot for your concern, but I think I’ll pass

Sometimes, I feel like a target, like I’m prey, of sorts
Why do people wanna get into my shorts
I thought by now I’d have paid my dues
I’m like a stowaway on a ship of fools
I appreciate the thought, but not so fast
Thanks a lot for your concern, but I think I’ll pass

People think that I don’t have a clue
My life’s such a hot mess, “well, pardon you”
I do, what I do, because I do

I don’t mind being analyzed
Helped along, or even criticized
But y’know friendships can get fairly well mistreated
And your guidance isn’t really needed
An’ I absolutely thank you for your concern, however, since you asked
I appreciate the thought, but I think I’ll pass

People seem to think that I don’t have a clue
My life’s such a hot mess, “well, pardon, you”
I do, what I do, because I do

An’ anybody can tell that I don’t have a clue
My life’s such a hot mess, that may be true
But I do, what I do, because I do

(And I’ll do what I do because I do)

I saw you last night
I tried not to notice
tried not to stare
You were alone
Were you looking for someone?
Why were you there?

I saw you last night
All our memories came back to me
All the passion once forgotten

From a step-up stage
In a run-down downtown cabaret
I saw you last night

The night was slow
The lights were low
Perhaps, you stopped to say, “hello”
I saw you last night

I saw you last night
I tried not to notice
tried not to stare
I saw you were alone
Were you looking for someone?
Why were you there?

You were just as I remember
Though our passion now forgotten

The night was slow
The lights were low
Perhaps you stopped to say, ‘hello”
I saw you last night

Through a smoky haze
From a step-up stage
In a run-down downtown cabaret
I saw you last night
And then you were gone

Suddenly my knees got weak
And I could hardly speak
I’d loved you from afar so long
I’d never felt this way before
You gave me that look and
Then you took my hand
Before I knew what hit me
We were floating ‘cross the floor

Love me till this dance is over
Love me till this song has ended
Love me just a little while
However unintended
Hold me like you mean it
And I may not recover
If you love me
Till this dance is over

I can’t describe the feeling
What came over us this evening
Other people seemed to melt away
And time stood still
Our bodies never warmer
Our hearts beat close together
Heavy as an anvil
Lighter than a feather

Love me till this dance is over
Love me till this song has ended
Love me just a little while
However unintended
Hold me like you mean it
And I may not recover
If you love me
Till this dance is over

Did she stay with you ‘til morning?
Did she fly about the room
like a mystical seductress
with a black hat and a broom?
Did she cook you up a potion
sure to make you fall in love?
Is she who you’re dreaming of?

Did you waltz across the ballroom
in those patent-leather pumps
or did you boogie in the mosh pit
taking in those grinds and bumps?
Did she swoon when you embraced her
as she praised the lord above?
Is she who you’re dreaming of?

Did you dine in fine extravagance
froufrou by candlelight
or did you slam a couple burgers
at the bar on Friday night?
And does her southern mother really have her
wear white satin gloves?
Is she who you’re dreaming of?

Did she stay with you ‘til morning?
Did she awake within your arms?
Did you promise to protect her
from all evil and all harm?
Is her touch that special feeling
that you’ll never get enough?
Is she who you’re dreaming of?

I’ve been runnin’ down this road an’ I don’t know
if I’m the chaser or the chased
but I stopped here for the night
‘cause either way it’s gettin’ late
An’ I’m runnin’ low on options
I’m runnin’ low on fuel
as I contemplate tomorrow
how to settle up with you
and I speculate the chances whether
I could ever really settle up with you

You know, lately I’ve been rollin’ rough
an’ this trail is windin’ down
so I’ve been wond’rin’ like you
if I’d be comin’ back around
You see I’ve burned a lot of bridges
sometimes, just walked away
but I don’t regret the things I’ve done
most of the time, on most days
no, I don’t regret the things I’ve done
most of the time, on most days

Y’see, the devil wears a kindly mask
as a comrade and a friend
Saint Peter wears a scowl
to condemn and condescend
And I can see the angels comin’
I think they want to take me home
but my view from this motel window
ain’t real good, I may be wrong
yeah, from here the view is hazy
I just might be wrong

I loved you like no other
my torment a grand bouquet
but, I wasn’t sure if you’re the devil or Saint Peter
so I just walked away
And I miss you more than ever
though I’m giving up this chase
an’ the measure of this back ‘n’ forth . . .
it was I who walked away
yes, the essence of this tragedy . . .
I just walked away

You say that I’ve mistreated you
an’ maybe cheated on you
takin’ all you own an’ leavin’ loneliness
I’m a heartless soul
well, I don’t recall you ever havin’ money
but if that’s the situation, honey
call yourself an Uber an’ just
put it on my bill

Well, I stand accused of being gone
or not – comin’ home till dawn
stealin’ precious moments from your happiness
when you’re all alone
well – I do what I have to do
an’ if that’s not just alright with you
then charge it to my Visa card
an’ add it to my bill

I stay out late ‘cause god knows why
an’ I can’t explain – or even try
or how we both got into such a mess
I can’t deny
it, an’ I don’t think I’m gonna change my ways
an’ for the record, you know I never strayed
but, if that’s your explanation,
you can add it to my bill

I just adore
your beautiful brown eyes,
your way of makin’ love an’ raisin’ hell
but it’s just as well
an’ even so I never told you lies
but if you gotta go then fare thee well
call yourself an Uber an’ just
put it on my bill